Busy Busy Busy... What the...?
I feel stupid because I started this and now looking back I haven't posted since June 22. What a moron. Oh well, I finally managed to get a minute and put something up here. I'm not sure I really should right now though. Most of the thoughts in my head are less than positive right now. I'm not depressed but I am somewhere between irritated, down, disappointed, frustrated, and tired. What a combination. I know I am probably really pleasant to be around right now. I really don't care though. My real friends and others that really matter can look through this and still see ME.
Right now, school really sucks. Work sucks too. I NEED a vacation but too much stuff going on right now. School feels like it is sucking the life out of me and it is consuming so much of my time away from work. It is to the point that it seems like all I do is school work. There is no time for ME. I can't even manage to find time to mow the yard. I have about a year of classes to go and I know it isn't really that long but right now it seems like an eternity. I have a lot of great friends that have been really supportive and are always willing to share words of encouragement. You know who you are.. Thank You. Earlier tonight I made a post on Facebook sort of airing my current dislike for school. Actually, I said I wished I had never started back. Thanks Dana for the kind words. Ginger commented that many others admire me for what I am doing and called me her hero. I know there are people that admire me for it but I am no hero. Thank you Ginger for the compliment but I am no hero. I am just an everyday working-class guy that decided it was time to finally do what should have been done years ago. It doesn't really matter why I waited until now or why I didn't do it way back when; it just matters that I am doing it. No hero stuff. The real heroes are the men and women that are serving in the US Armed Forces that risk their lives every day to guarantee our freedom. The same goes for police and fire personnel.
Yesterday I met with the hospital coordinator at the Surgical Weight Loss Center. It went well and it looks like I have this ball slowly rolling. She went over a ton of information and gave me lots of paperwork to read through. This paperwork... it is the source of my current emotions... or at least it is the kindling. My wife has a co-worker that has had gastric bypass and apparently they have been talking quite a bit. Because of this, my wife now believes she is an expert on the subject. No surprise. She thinks this about everything. I have been studying and contemplating this for at least a year. I have several co-workers and other people I know that have had the procedure done. I'm not an expert but I am sure I have a fairly good grasp of things. Every conversation we have about it involves her talking to me like I imagine she talks to the kids in her daycare class. Anyway, yesterday afternoon she read through all of the paperwork. There were a couple of pages that discussed post-surgery diet and the types of food that can be eaten. Throughout this process I want and need support. I expect it the most from her. Nothing could be farther from true in my perception. As she was reading the diet and menu items, she openly laughed, almost hysterically at times. There were little comments thrown in about having to eat certain things certain ways. I wasn't devastated but my feelings are hurt. I am not happy about it, and I feel........ betrayed. Honestly, as much as we have struggled with our relationship over the last 2 years, this just doesn't sit well. In a case like this, what do you say to a know-it-all? I know what the answer would be if I brought it up: "You just took it wrong." Maybe I did but I usually tend to think that perception is reality.
What next?
In the weight loss journey.... a sleep study to see if I have sleep apnea (I likely do), an appointment with my regular doc, an appointment with the hospital dietician, an appointment with the surgeon, and some lab work.
In the rest of my chaotic life... who knows, I sure don't.
Right now, school really sucks. Work sucks too. I NEED a vacation but too much stuff going on right now. School feels like it is sucking the life out of me and it is consuming so much of my time away from work. It is to the point that it seems like all I do is school work. There is no time for ME. I can't even manage to find time to mow the yard. I have about a year of classes to go and I know it isn't really that long but right now it seems like an eternity. I have a lot of great friends that have been really supportive and are always willing to share words of encouragement. You know who you are.. Thank You. Earlier tonight I made a post on Facebook sort of airing my current dislike for school. Actually, I said I wished I had never started back. Thanks Dana for the kind words. Ginger commented that many others admire me for what I am doing and called me her hero. I know there are people that admire me for it but I am no hero. Thank you Ginger for the compliment but I am no hero. I am just an everyday working-class guy that decided it was time to finally do what should have been done years ago. It doesn't really matter why I waited until now or why I didn't do it way back when; it just matters that I am doing it. No hero stuff. The real heroes are the men and women that are serving in the US Armed Forces that risk their lives every day to guarantee our freedom. The same goes for police and fire personnel.
Yesterday I met with the hospital coordinator at the Surgical Weight Loss Center. It went well and it looks like I have this ball slowly rolling. She went over a ton of information and gave me lots of paperwork to read through. This paperwork... it is the source of my current emotions... or at least it is the kindling. My wife has a co-worker that has had gastric bypass and apparently they have been talking quite a bit. Because of this, my wife now believes she is an expert on the subject. No surprise. She thinks this about everything. I have been studying and contemplating this for at least a year. I have several co-workers and other people I know that have had the procedure done. I'm not an expert but I am sure I have a fairly good grasp of things. Every conversation we have about it involves her talking to me like I imagine she talks to the kids in her daycare class. Anyway, yesterday afternoon she read through all of the paperwork. There were a couple of pages that discussed post-surgery diet and the types of food that can be eaten. Throughout this process I want and need support. I expect it the most from her. Nothing could be farther from true in my perception. As she was reading the diet and menu items, she openly laughed, almost hysterically at times. There were little comments thrown in about having to eat certain things certain ways. I wasn't devastated but my feelings are hurt. I am not happy about it, and I feel........ betrayed. Honestly, as much as we have struggled with our relationship over the last 2 years, this just doesn't sit well. In a case like this, what do you say to a know-it-all? I know what the answer would be if I brought it up: "You just took it wrong." Maybe I did but I usually tend to think that perception is reality.
What next?
In the weight loss journey.... a sleep study to see if I have sleep apnea (I likely do), an appointment with my regular doc, an appointment with the hospital dietician, an appointment with the surgeon, and some lab work.
In the rest of my chaotic life... who knows, I sure don't.
Good for you for taking control of your world and deciding to get healthy!!! A lady I worked with had gastric bypass because she was more than 100 pounds overweight. She had to go on a liquid diet for a few weeks before, but her results were amazing! Today, she is thin, healthy, and loving life. I hope the same for you! I was praying for you and some other friends in the car this morning. I know God will bless and keep you, and most of all, give you strength and guidance when you need it. Just think, one year from today you will be either done, or almost done with school, and probably very healthy as well! Think about how quickly the past year went...it will be here before you know it! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Dana