Triple D Part II - Doubts, Discussion, and Decisions
Part II
For a long time I had my doubts about doing this. It was something I wasn't sure I wanted to commit to or even it was something I could even live with. This is going to be a HUGE change... a huge change in more ways than one. This is a lifestyle change and it changes people's lives. Sometimes these changes are for the good and sometimes they are not. I like to think that I have my head screwed on right and that any changes will be for the good. I know there are a few people that have their doubts. I have my doubts that everything will stay the same as it is now. I have my doubts that everyone that really matters will be 100% supportive of my decision. I had doubts that it would really work for me. I had doubts about me.
Doubts about myself?? Why? Why not? For as long as I can remember I have thought I was fat. As a kid in elementary and Jr High school I always felt that way and even got the same impression from other kids. Even throughout High School I felt the same way. I started High School at around 225-230 pounds and from 10th grade through the 12th grade I managed to get down to about 170 pounds. I think I may have even managed 165 pounds once. Even at these weights, I still considered myself fat. I was never a really popular person and I always attributed this to my weight. I had friends and they were (and still are) great friends but I always felt like I didn't fit in with everyone because of my weight and size. Irregardless, I survived it. Looking back at old High School pics I can't believe what I really looked like and wish I could get back to that size. I doubt that I could but it is a goal. I still have some doubts but I guess that is just me.
From the time I first considered doing this I made it a point to talk to people that have had it done and get their points of view and opinions. I wanted to educate myself as much as I could about the process, the after-effects, and everything else I could think of. I have a couple of coworkers that have had the surgery and I know several others as well. By far, Terry at work has been the most help. He has explained how he felt and how he felt afterwards. He had doubts too and after taking, it has really eased some of my anxieties. Of course I have talked to other people as well and their input has been very helpful as well. The support I have received from friends has been invaluable. I have to talk with more of my family members to see what kind of support I get from them. This is the hard part for me and may or may not go well, I really don't know nor do I even know what to expect. All I can do is hope they support me.
Decisions again. This has really been a hard decision for me to come to. I am a very.... Hmmmm.... not sure what words really fit here... I do not like change. Change can be difficult thing. Change can be a good thing too. Like I said this has been a really difficult decision for me. I pit a lot of me into making this decision and have really pondered this a great deal. I know everyone won't agree with my decision but it is ultimately MY decision and no one can change that.
Today, I finally managed to work up the nerve to call the doctor's office and make an appointment. I had actually called Friday but didn't get an answer. Oh well. I did it today and have an appointment for July the 11th.
And so... the journey begins.
For a long time I had my doubts about doing this. It was something I wasn't sure I wanted to commit to or even it was something I could even live with. This is going to be a HUGE change... a huge change in more ways than one. This is a lifestyle change and it changes people's lives. Sometimes these changes are for the good and sometimes they are not. I like to think that I have my head screwed on right and that any changes will be for the good. I know there are a few people that have their doubts. I have my doubts that everything will stay the same as it is now. I have my doubts that everyone that really matters will be 100% supportive of my decision. I had doubts that it would really work for me. I had doubts about me.
Doubts about myself?? Why? Why not? For as long as I can remember I have thought I was fat. As a kid in elementary and Jr High school I always felt that way and even got the same impression from other kids. Even throughout High School I felt the same way. I started High School at around 225-230 pounds and from 10th grade through the 12th grade I managed to get down to about 170 pounds. I think I may have even managed 165 pounds once. Even at these weights, I still considered myself fat. I was never a really popular person and I always attributed this to my weight. I had friends and they were (and still are) great friends but I always felt like I didn't fit in with everyone because of my weight and size. Irregardless, I survived it. Looking back at old High School pics I can't believe what I really looked like and wish I could get back to that size. I doubt that I could but it is a goal. I still have some doubts but I guess that is just me.
From the time I first considered doing this I made it a point to talk to people that have had it done and get their points of view and opinions. I wanted to educate myself as much as I could about the process, the after-effects, and everything else I could think of. I have a couple of coworkers that have had the surgery and I know several others as well. By far, Terry at work has been the most help. He has explained how he felt and how he felt afterwards. He had doubts too and after taking, it has really eased some of my anxieties. Of course I have talked to other people as well and their input has been very helpful as well. The support I have received from friends has been invaluable. I have to talk with more of my family members to see what kind of support I get from them. This is the hard part for me and may or may not go well, I really don't know nor do I even know what to expect. All I can do is hope they support me.
Decisions again. This has really been a hard decision for me to come to. I am a very.... Hmmmm.... not sure what words really fit here... I do not like change. Change can be difficult thing. Change can be a good thing too. Like I said this has been a really difficult decision for me. I pit a lot of me into making this decision and have really pondered this a great deal. I know everyone won't agree with my decision but it is ultimately MY decision and no one can change that.
Today, I finally managed to work up the nerve to call the doctor's office and make an appointment. I had actually called Friday but didn't get an answer. Oh well. I did it today and have an appointment for July the 11th.
And so... the journey begins.
For what it is worth, I support you 100%. I also have considered it, but I am still at the point where I don't think it is for me. But, if you are at the point where you think it is for you, then you have my full support. If I can do anything or just listen, let me know! :]
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